Wednesday, June 16, 2010

SHE RESTS: 14 days and counting


Have you ever really thought about confession? It is vocalizing failure but for some reason it feels great and helps us move on. Deep down we all believe we are honest people and want our actions to be justified. I don’t think confession is utilized enough. Instead we ‘justify’ our actions by lying to others which causes guilt. Or we ‘justify’ to ourselves by blaming it on someone or something, becoming less responsible for our actions and opening the door for immature lifestyle. And my personal favorite: ignore the problem only for it to continually resurface. I have long been in a season where my dirt has been lingering. I have made effort to identify it and now that it’s visible, I find it everywhere. It is out of control, growing like interest to loan. The more I try to change the more frustrated I become. Desperate times call for desperate measures. So here I am in prayer and fasting. These last three days my prayers have been in anguish. I have had no one to turn to but my God. I have confessed and His healing torrents have swept over me; liberating.

My physical has become a barrier to my active lifestyle. I conserve all energy for alertness at work, grocery shopping and juicing. I have been attempting exercise but am slow and weak. When I don’t pay attention to my physical needs, they get really bad - fast. Last night I talked on the phone for almost two hours before bed, and I forgot to keep drinking. I woke up in the night so dehydrated that I looked like a wrinkled old woman. I drank an entire watermelon. Within an hour my skin was nice and plum again.

I find that I pay more attention and feel better when I am relaxed. It has been quite stressful with the limitations I have set for myself –only juiced fruits and veggies. On my 7th day of fasting I am resting (as much as possible with a full time job). I am currently soaking my feet in a warm bath, have a heat pad on my back and am sipping delicious fruit smoothie with added Pedialyte (for hydration). For dinner I broke my rules and savored a half cup of chicken broth! I also had vitamin C & D enhanced orange juice. It is not about how hard I try but the rest that is found because of it.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 Jn 1:9

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